toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
