Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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