He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
