My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
