So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
