Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
