"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
