Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
