Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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