Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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