Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
