Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
