He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
