The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize