he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
