i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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