how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
