I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
