No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
