I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
