And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
