brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
