Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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