My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
