if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
