I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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