Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
