dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
