I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
