did you get engaged???
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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