I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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