Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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