You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
