He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
