By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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