he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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