there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
