We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
