Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
