he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
