I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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