I'm drive I can fine osifer
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
