So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize
