i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
