But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
