That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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