I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
