If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
