I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
