So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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