Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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