I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
