she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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