I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
