names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
