dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
