I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
