did you get engaged???
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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