Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
