she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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