I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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