More tranny stories later!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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