i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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