In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
